I love laughing gas..

Went to the dentist today. My pregnancies went straight to my teeth, as well as my butt. They're crumbling away. Wish my butt was, but that's a whole 'nother subject. When I was a teenager I was MUCH too fat--a whole 130 pounds! So I never drank milk because it was fattening. Now I pay! Heed my warning! You are not fat, girls, but you will be--so live it up!

Apparently part of my problem is that I'm a grinder. I have literally broken my teeth right out of my head. The front 4 are more than half fake. I live in a small mountain town, but I don't' want to LOOK like I'm from a small mountain town; as in "Nice tooth!" So I'm chatting with the dentist, making more or less sense... Mfff mfff mffmff and for some reason he's laughing... maybe that's why it's laughing gas, because it's so frigging funny to the dentist what kind of stuff you do and say... and he finds that I have a 16 year old on his way to his driver's license. Ya. I have reasons to grind...


I have to say I think of some of my best stuff under laughing gas. Unfortunately after I'm out from under the influence it's not nearly as profound. None of it spins, either. Wish I could get a take out bottle...

Funny thing is that my true appreciation of laughing gas started when the 16-year-old was a toddler. I hadn't had a solid night's sleep in months, nor an uninterrupted bath, nor a single moment of quiet time. He was my first, and obviously couldn't live without my attention 24/7. Wouldn't ride in a carseat, wouldn't take naps, so I never went anywhere, either. Finally I had a roaring toothache and went to the dentist, who told me I needed fillings. Many fillings. The laughing gas went on my face and I relaxed. Really relaxed for the first time in months. I hadn't realized I was so tense and alert until then, and realized that all those women and mom magazines telling me I needed some 'me' time were right. So here's the next piece of advice, girls: Your baby is all-important, no one will love him like you, but please get some time off for good behavior. You really deserve some quiet time, because what you do is amazing.

Remakes

Apocalyptica via last.fm

My son just introduced me to Apocalyptica. I like it... But he just had to play me this one song featuring a German singer. The song was very profound and dark, and the singer's voice was very growly and serious. I liked it, but it just had this ring of familiarity I couldn't place... You probably already know where I'm going with this, don't you?

It was 'We Can Be Heroes' done originally by David Bowie. Now it's called 'Helden', apparently German for Heroes. It's good, give it a listen. The thing that was pretty funny was how messed up my teenage son got over the fact that I knew the song. It gave me quite the giggles, but then it started bringing back memories for me. Memories of my best friend's mom singing along with the brand new (we thought) pop hit 'Sea of Love' in the early eighties. When she said it was a remake of a song that came out when she was a teenager we were so... disappointed?? Disturbed by the fact that we were reminded that parents had lives too? That who they are now is not who they once were, but what we will someday be? Sure enough, heeere we are! A little gray, a little soft around the edges, and humming along with 'new' songs on the radio.

Speaking of which, I don't know who the band is, but while I was in a store the other day I heard a song that had one of Heart's guitar lines in it. Not bad, figured it was a remake... but NO! It was a totally different song, but with the whole guitar riff totally ripped off! I have to say I am not thrilled with remakes, show some originality, boys, but if you can do it better more power to you--but if you're going to rip off another band's music, at least throw them some credit! Big thumbs down!

The garbage mystery

What is it about garbage? Why do we assign the males in the household the job of taking it out when they obviously can't see it? My youngest will walk in and immediately shout "Something smells!"

But when I ask him to take the garbage out he looks at me in absolute disbelief, as if I've just asked him to walk across burning coals, lie on a bed of nails, sacrifice to pagan gods!

I thought it was just me, and my house, but when I talked to other mothers and wives they said the same thing. Until the garbage actually smells, the men don't notice it, and even then it's a 50/50 chance, and involves guilt inducing looks at the females as if we somehow made it smell on purpose!

I have tested my theory that males don't see garbage by throwing it on the kitchen floor, and watched the males step over it on the way to the refrigerator or out the door. I do have to admit that if the dog gets into the garbage they notice, but only as long as the dog is actively gnawing and tearing the trash. Then they accusingly growl (mostly louder than the dog) "Hey, the dumb dog is in the garbage!" Then they'll huffily pick up most of it and either put it right back in dog's reach, or even more huffily take it out. They get disappointed by the lack of a ticker tape parade, but there's been budget cuts and environmental concerns and these things can't be helped.

I'm wondering now if the dog is actually helping me out here by drawing their attention to the garbage. Hmmm.

There's a very great irony at work here, I just don't understand quite what it is.

Fighting Words...

The other day my teenaged son used fighting words: "I'm not a stay-at-home mom with nothing to do."

Ouch.

I've always thought I've done a fairly decent job raising my kids to respect a woman's role in the household, and how much work I do. They have paid lip-service to that "fact" repeatedly, mostly as a great way to suck up as they bring me yet another dish that's spent who knows how long under the couch usually just after I've finished washing the dishes. I'm not 'Born Organized' (or BO--wow, talk about ironic. Is that because it stinks to live with a person that's got it all together?) so usually I'd get irritated but just shrug and set it next to the sink. After all, there will always be more dishes to wash, so what's the big deal, right?

They get it from my husband, who is a great guy. He tells me not to worry about it. If it were up to him the floor would be carpeted in peanut hulls and Doritos bags. Very likable though. Until I finally reached the point where I've had it and ask him to help. Then he jumps up, yells at the kids, and tears around for a couple hours accomplishing pretty much nothing but making me a nervous wreck saying 'No, don't do that, don't mess with that, leave that alone...'

I'm pretty sure I'm the victim of a not-so-secret plan.

Lately I've been getting a little crankier about things left undone, though. Jobs half-finished, or maybe finished, but none of the tools put away. Now, I've always pointed at myself as well during my lectures on this subject because I do tend to leave things lay, but it's reached a crisis point. The clock is 3 minutes to midnight, and she's about to blow...

Part of it, I know, is the stress level of having been laid off and even though I know I was carrying the bulk of the (undone) chores, now that I'm among the unemployed, I am suddenly everyone's charwoman. No one even bothers to put in the appearance of putting their clothes in the laundry, and I'm like a pile of greasy rags in the sun... starting to smolder.

Is this why some women get 'that face' as they get older? That permanently pissed off look that makes it clear they're one frayed apron string from going completely postal?

There's also the financial aspect. I'd grown used to the money that made life a little more comfortable, and I don't feel entitled to a new skirt, even if I really do need it, when the money is so tightly stretched, and I got to thinking about that in particular as central to how we view ourselves as wives and mothers. While we may say that we're just as entitled to new things as anyone else in the household, the reality is that we always carefully measure our needs against those of our families, and when we come out on the short end, it's self-imposed.

The really sad thing is that it's not just my family, it's our whole society. "Just a Mom" or "Just a Housewife" is the way we describe ourselves, but we are the lynch pin that society turns on. We're the ones that you call in the middle of the night when you need a sitter because one of your kids needs to go to the ER, because we don't have to go to work in the morning. We're the ones your grandmother calls for a ride to the doctor because you have a "real job" and she doesn't want to bother you. We're the ones that are there for you when you need us, volunteer at the schools, and do volunteer work of all those menial sorts that hold society together, because God knows there's not enough money to pay for the stuff that needs to be done to give the kids an education or to serve social needs. We probably don't have anything better to do anyway...

So I decided to start this blog, since "I don't have anything better to do" and since I know there are a lot of other moms out there just like me. We love our families, we'll do anything for our friends, but sometimes we do get a little frustrated at the way things are, and just need to vent a little before getting back on the job, so it doesn't spill over on the ones we love. Too much, anyway. ;^)

Of course, that's just mom venting again...